just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
