Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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