I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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