Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
