we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize