We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
