I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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