wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
