These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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