I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
