No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize