Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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