quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
