mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
