I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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