so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
