Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
