Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize