just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
