this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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