Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
