I hate your face
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize