OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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