Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
