How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
