Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Randomize
