am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
