Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize