I looked at my own cervix.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize
