so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
there is glitter all over my balls
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
