are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
