Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Randomize
