he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize