Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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