ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
