So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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