I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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