mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
