I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
