Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
