Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
