I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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