Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
