Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
