so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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