By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
