this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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