so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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