I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
