In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
