Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
