Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
