I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
