distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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