I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
