I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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