I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
